Selling yourself.... short.

Some time ago I was asked by a potential suitor "what do you have to offer that sets you apart from other women?" I was completely caught off guard by this question as it's not one I've ever been asked before. I gave a rather flippant answer and didn't really think twice about it.

Well, lately... I'm thinking about it. And I'm beginning to wonder what does set me apart? What does make me different? Do our attributes really make or break a relationship or it all just about chemistry?

The things that I think set me apart and which are "pluses" in my favor are about 180 degrees opposite of an acquaintance and yet I'm single (divorced) and she's been married for 14 years.

I'm quite domestic and have a love for all things culinary. I enjoy "home" and want to make it a haven and a place where you feel loved, warm, relaxed etc. I don't mind doing laundry, or cleaning or any of those things.

She on the other hand does none of those things. Her husband does 90% of the cooking, he does all the laundry, and most of the cleaning. So, obviously to her husband the fact that she did/does none of those domestic things did not equate to "minuses" for her.

My ex-boyfriend and I were once at a dinner party with she and her husband and I had brought a homemade dessert. He asked my then-boyfriend if I cooked like this all the time. The answer was yes and he said..."you're so lucky." He told me that all of those domestic things were a large part of why he loved me.

But, my then-boyfriend is now married to someone who does not cook at all... and who is also not all that domestic either. Did he lie? Did those things really not matter or did he find someone with whom he has better chemistry and is simply willing deal with the fact that she does none of those things? I'm still a little puzzled by that one.

So, what are my best attributes and do they really matter? Are my pluses really pluses and are her minuses really minuses? What *do* I have to offer someone that really matters?

I don't know anymore what sets me apart because what I *thought* set me apart didn't really make a difference in the end.

I just know what I like about myself and hopefully those things will matter to the person who eventually becomes my companion, my lover and my best friend.