A Type of Mourning
It’s the 12th of October and in 14 days it will be one year since my husband moved out. In 15 days I can file for a divorce.
My emotions are in turmoil but I’m not sure what I’m feeling at the moment. To say that I’m happy would not be true, but to say that I don’t want this divorce wouldn’t be true either. I suppose I’m somewhere in the middle of mourning.
I suppose all in all I feel relieved.
My emotions are in turmoil but I’m not sure what I’m feeling at the moment. To say that I’m happy would not be true, but to say that I don’t want this divorce wouldn’t be true either. I suppose I’m somewhere in the middle of mourning.
I suppose all in all I feel relieved.
posted by Ephemeral | 3:01 PM
3 Comments:
Oh, E. You must be feeling pretty pulverized, emotionally, right now. I think most people have good memories of bad relationships. It's unthinkable that we would marry someone who had no endearing qualities, made us feel bad about ourselves, acted like an irresponsible jerk.
In time, people change. Some become complacent; others become more aware. Some have nothing left to give; others realize they need more. Some deprioritize the relationship; others learn they must claim their right to happiness.
It's okay to grieve; I'd be concerned if you didn't. You'll make it through this, my friend. And when you do, you'll be better for it.
Email me if you need to vent, unleash, whatever...not sure how much help I can be from this distance, but know that I'm here and thinking about you.
I wonder if you check your blog between posts. I think about you, miss you. Hope you're doing wonderfully fine. Are you?
Have you shot out of the ashes like a newborn phoenix, trailing clouds of glory as you rise to new life?
It's pretty to think so.
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