Had we but world enough and time...

I cannot listen to him talk about his life, his love, his family, and his wife. It’s not just him though. Really, it’s anyone to whom fortune has blessed. I’ll be 34 years old in less than a month. I don’t really feel my biological clock ticking it’s more of an understanding of life just passing me by. I never wanted to be where I am today. I never wanted to be in this situation. Yet here I am, commingling with depression feeling the air of sadness and loss of hope. I’ve lost a part of me and I don’t know if it is too far gone to ever get back.

I know my life is not at an end, the rational side of my brain tells me that. What I feel is something altogether different however. Who could ever love me now? Who would want all the baggage I’ve acquired these past few years. Will I ever be able to divest myself of these trappings?

He stands there, so happy. I see the love he has for his family. They have four children you know. He has brightly-colored childhood drawings displayed in his cube.

I wonder what I have done to have been denied these simple pleasures.